First Date Advice: 10 Dos and Don’ts Every Girl Should Know

So, you’ve met a cool guy who asked you out. Exciting? Totally. A little nerve-wracking? Absolutely. So, what’s a girl to do to lessen the nerves that inevitably come with first-date territory? We all could use some advice in this department. Below are some First Date Advice for you.

First Date Advice

As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is probably the best way to ensure you not only have a good time on a first date, but also get a second date, too. That said, there are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally new— remember, it’s all about making a solid first impression. Read on for 12 first date dos and don’ts that every girl should know!

First Date Advice

1. DO speak up.
Nobody likes a pushover, so if your date tells you he’s planned an evening at a sushi restaurant and you don’t eat fish, or he wants to hang at a cocktail lounge but you don’t drink, speak up. It’ll only look strange if you tell him all that after you’re already seated and waiting to order. Same goes for being decisive. If he asks what you’d like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, don’t say “I don’t care, what do you want?” Wishy-washy can get real old, real fast.

2. DON’T wear things that you can’t walk, eat, breathe, or talk in.
Obviously, you want to look your best, but a first date isn’t the time to take those new 5-inch stilettos out for a road test, or wear that dress that’s a little too tight. Why? Because first dates are anxiety-filled enough and being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse. Plus, won’t it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high? Instead, wear things you know look good on you but won’t hinder you from being cool, calm, and collected.

3. DO be on time.
Yeah, we know the whole fashionably late ideology still exists, but on a first date, you’ll make a better impression if you show up on time. Would you want him to show up late? Probably not. What’s that? It takes you two hours to do your hair? Sounds like you’re perfectly aware of that fact, which means you’ll know exactly how much time you need to prepare ahead of time, even if it’s five hours (hey, we don’t judge.)

4. DON’T not eat.
Most guys will freely tell you that there’s nothing more cliché (read: boring) than a girl who doesn’t eat on a date. If you think not ordering dinner will make you appear skinnier, prettier, more feminine, or more mysterious, guess what? It won’t. What it will do? Probably make your dude a little uncomfortable.

In fact, we asked a guy in our office what he thought of girls who don’t eat on dates and he said: “There’s nothing more refreshing than a girl who actually wants to eat on a date. We’re not saying she needs to house four cheeseburgers, but we want girls to be comfortable when they’re out with us, and nothing says they’re uncomfortable and uptight more than not eating!” Got that, ladies?

5. DON’T drink too much.
There’s not much to say here without sounding like a preachy parent, but keep this in mind: Having to be carried home by a guy you barely know isn’t chic (nor is slurring your words, doing something you regret, or crying at the dinner table.) Sure, a cocktail or two can be fun and loosen the mood, but knowing your limits will help make a better first impression.

6. DON’T be obsessed with your appearance.
Who wants to waste precious date time running to bathroom to brush your hair, reapply your lipstick, or check the mirror every five minutes? Put as much effort into your appearance as you want before you meet your date, but focus your energy on making solid conversation instead of worrying about how you look. Not to stereotype, but odds are he probably won’t notice that last swipe of lip gloss you just applied, anyway.

7. DO put your phone away.
This is the big one, ladies: The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bonafide deal breaker. There’s nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly stating at their screens—wouldn’t you be put off if he were paying more attention to his iPhone than to you?

Checking Instagram can wait. No, it can’t? Then you’re probably not ready to have a relationship with an actual human just yet. Similarly, do not post any status updates, tweet about your date in real time, or snap any candid pics when he’s not looking. That’s just weird.

8. DON’T mention other guys.
Want to know a surefire way to not get asked out again? Maniacally mention your ex-boyfriend, your dating history, or the laundry list of guys lining up around the block to date you. If you get the urge, step up your game and act your age. Try this instead: Highlight some recent achievements that are about you. He’ll be way more impressed that way.

9. DO ask questions.
A foolproof way to ensure that conversation will always be flowing is to simply ask questions. Keep them semi-general: Ask about work, his family, his hobbies, pop culture, his favorite music. Four things to not ask him about? Politics, religion, his exes, and how much cash he pulls in.

10. DO be real … to a point.
We’d advise against spilling personal details that he really doesn’t need to know on the very first date (your parents’ messy divorce, your chronic stomachaches, your huge fight with your best friend), but don’t be afraid to let him see your personality. Obsessed with bad TV? Tell him about it! Obsessed with planning your wedding, or the fact that you’re only meeting losers on dating sites? Keep it to yourself. He doesn’t need to know every innermost thought and feeling yet.

Related : First Date Advice That Are Actually Useful

10 Things Women Should Do On A First Date

Do On A First Date

We’ve been open for business for the past 2 months and already, the numbers are speaking to us. Astonishingly, most of our readership is interested in dating and/or advice about women/men and relationships. We hear ya … I mean old people? Is it OK to call our readers old? In any case, we decided to take things up a notch and give all you ladies a few tips on snaggin’ that committed relationship. Before we start, I just want to point out that if you’re just out there to have a good time, this advice isn’t for you. If you want to party like a rock star, then by all means, do it. The NSB staff condones anything and everything you can experience. However, if you ARE looking for a relationship that doesn’t end with you leaving some guy’s apartment in the morning as quietly as possible, then read on!

So you are out on your first date with a guy you’re interested in. Nervous? Don’t be. First dates are often that getting-to-know-you period that don’t require a lot of commitment. It’s like a job interview except even if you totally crash and burn, you won’t be missing out on rent money. That being said, the first date is a delicate game of chess that needs to be played properly.

Should Do On A First Date

1. Don’t suggest a movie.

I don’t know where the misconception arose about movies being a great date night activity. You’re literally not seeing or interacting with your potential significant other. Movies are best saved for later on down the road. You know, when words aren’t needed any more because you’ve already gotten to know whoever it is you’re watching that movie with. Or, if you need an excuse to make a late night visit to your already-significant-other’s empty home.

2. Coffee is always a great way to start a date with a person you’re meeting the first time.

In a blind date situation, never commit to any activity that will take longer than 30 minutes. This is a safety net for you so you’re not stuck with some douche bag you don’t want to spend time with. If coffee goes well and you guys hit it off, it is easy to get a guy to commit to a dinner and/or drinks. All you have do is be cute and say something innovative and groundbreaking like, “I’m hungry”.

3. Eat.

If you are in a meal-consumption situation, please consume the food like you are enjoying it. Unless of course the guy is an ass that took you to a horrible place to eat. Barring that, it is painful, and I’m speaking from experience here, when you’re there eating a delicious meal and your lady friend is taking rabbit-sized-bites out of a salad.

4. Drop the phone.

I think younger girls have a tendency to do this more often than older women, but it is horribly annoying when you are trying to have a conversation with someone that can’t take their eyes off their phone. This is also considered rude for all you kids that never learned proper manners while you were growing up. Be engaging and responsive.

5. Be a conversationalist.

After all if you are on a date, there’s only two people involved presumably. Don’t be the bitch that sits there acting like she’s bored. In addition, it isn’t always fun for guys if all they hear during your date are things your friends did. Chances are A) he doesn’t know your friends personally, and B) those stories aren’t half as funny as you think they are.

6. Be diplomatic.

There are plenty of ways to say, “Hey, this isn’t working out.” No need to be cold or a total asshole about it. Trust me, it feels just as crappy for guys as it does for girls. If all else fails, stick him in the friend zone. It worked for all the other hearts you broke. Who knows? Maybe you can torture him with stories about how jilted you feel because of all the asshole guys you fall for.

7. Honesty is always good.

Be straightforward and don’t put up a front. Why would you? This is the time to let your potential long-term-boyfriend know that you are human too and you have your quirks. Have bad habits? Let him know. Use the light, funny atmosphere to warm him up to the worst side of you. Unless you want to be the jackass that soaks your panties in his sink then asks me to get tampons at the market to assert your feminine dominance for no other reason than to brag to your girlfriends… I had some weird exes…

8. Enjoy the buzz, don’t be that girl that falls and trips over herself.

Guys only SAY that’s cute. It really isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being able to drink a lot. Just don’t push yourself until you pass out because that invites all sorts of trouble and… well it just isn’t appealing. Nothing wrong with having one or two drinks (or half depending on your tolerance). Remember, a date isn’t the same as hanging out with your friends. First impressions can never be made a second time, don’t waste the opportunity.

9. Don’t kill the chase too early.

If you do want that long-term situation, the worst thing you can do is give in to a guy’s advances too fast. Yes, it is a normal part of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t work for it. Unlike other myths, this one is true. Guys love the chase and nothing that’s worth the wait happens in the first few hours of meeting someone.

10. Have fun and show that you’re having a good time.

Chemistry isn’t built overnight and love never happens at first sight. That’s lust and infatuation. Part of building that chemistry is enjoying each other’s company. Nothing kills a first date like a girl that acts like she has something better to do. If you DO have something better to do, go do it.

Well that’s it. I won’t guarantee that every first date will be awesome, but if you do follow the road map above, they won’t be horrible. Unless of course the guy is utterly boring and ridiculously dumb. If that’s the case, just end it and walk away. Finding the “right guy” isn’t a one day job. Have the patience and the composure to keep searching. After all, if you are involved with someone that you don’t want to be with, that just removes you from the pool of potential girlfriends that perfect guy is looking for his other half in.

Sidebar: As a note for all the guys out there that are in that first date situation. AskMen.com reports that 80% of men spend on average $100 bucks on dating a month. Conversely, women spend less than $50. Don’t be cheap. Pick up the bill.

Related : What to do on a first date – Awesome First Date Ideas

Condolence Message Samples Appropriate for Social Media

Flowers say what words can’t, and they are always a welcomed addition to messages of sympathy. Our condolence message samples are perfect for the card that will accompany your gift if you order sympathy flowers or sympathy gifts online for delivery. Below are some of the most appropriate and appreciated sentiments to use as words of condolences for flower message cards:

condolence messages2

  • May these flowers serve as an expression of my deepest condolences.
  • May these flowers remind you of our loving thoughts and prayers.
  • Please know that we are thinking of you and your family during this time of sorrow
  • With hope that it helps you to know we care.
  • With warm and heartfelt sympathy.
  • With blessings, love and prayers.
  • May these flowers express what our words never will.
  • May this small monetary gift help you through a difficult time.
  • Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • With our deepest and heartfelt condolences.

In today’s world many people use social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter to send condolences. You might say something like:

  • You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Thinking of you during this difficult time.
  • Extending heartfelt condolences at this difficult time.
  • So sorry to hear the news of _____’s passing.
  • My heart goes out to you and your family on the passing of _____.
  • Please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss.
  • My prayers are with you and family.
  • Heartfelt thoughts go out to you in this time of sorrow.
  • My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time.
  • May God give you comfort in your time of grief.

You can find out more condolence messages at quickcondolence.net

How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

I get it. I’ve been there. Long distance relationships suck. There’s no way around it. In all of my years I’ve never met someone who has said, “Yeah, my boyfriend lives in Finland, it’s great!” On the contrary, everyone I’ve met in a long distance relationship can relate to the slow agonizing feeling that takes place over months or even years — that feeling that your heart is slowly being carved out by a butter knife and replaced with Skype calls and open chat windows.

How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

All three of my significant relationships have involved long distance in some way. As a young man who was terrified of any sort of commitment whatsoever, I found that I could only allow myself to fall for a girl if she was at least 500 miles away. The first one, we both genuinely tried to make it work, but things fell apart spectacularly. The second one we both agreed that our lives were taking us to different parts of the world and we were probably better off letting it go. The third, we immediately made plans to end the distance as soon as possible and then did.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve seen both sides of the long distance relationship coin. I’ve seen them implode and I’ve seen them fizzle out. I’ve seen them be worth the pain and loneliness and also reach the moment of needing to let go.

How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

When it comes to surviving the distance, here’s what I’ve learned is most important:

1. ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO TOGETHER

What kills long distance relationships is the constant underlying uncertainty to everything. “Is this all worth it?” “Does she still feel the same way about me as she did before?” “Is he secretly meeting other girls without me knowing?” “Am I kidding myself with all of this? Maybe we’re horrible for each other and I don’t know it.”

The longer you two are apart, the more these uncertainties will fester and grow into legitimate existential crises.

That’s why when making any long distance relationship work it’s necessary to always have some date that you are both waiting for. Usually, this will be the next time you are both able to see each other. But it can be other major life moments as well — applying for jobs in the other person’s city, looking at apartments together, a vacation together, and so on.

The minute you stop having some milestone to look forward to together, you’ll be stuck in emotional limbo. One thing that is true about all relationships is that if they’re not growing, then they’re dying. And this is more important than ever in long distance relationships. You must be evolving towards something. You must both have a converging trajectory on some point on the horizon. Otherwise you will inevitably drift apart.

2. BE SLOW TO JUDGE

A funny thing happens to humans psychologically when we’re separated from one another. We’re not able to see each other as we truly are. When we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are usually exaggerated or untrue.

This can manifest itself in various ways within a long distance relationship. In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner because they perceive every casual social outing without them as potentially threatening to their relationship. They become paranoid, asking who the fuck is Dan, tell me who the fuck this Dan guy is, and why is he writing on your Facebook wall — oh, he’s your stepbrother? I didn’t know you had a stepbrother. Why didn’t you tell me you had a stepbrother, are you hiding something from me? OK, maybe I wasn’t listening when you told me, but I still don’t want you hanging out with Dan, got it?

Other people become extremely critical and neurotic that every small thing that goes wrong is an end to the relationship. Like if the power goes out and their partner misses their nightly Skype call, they sit there thinking to themselves that this is it, the relationship’s over, he finally forgot about me.

Other people go the other direction and start idealizing their partner as being perfect in a bunch of ways that they’re actually not. After all, if your partner isn’t in front of you all day every day, it’s easy to forget all of the little obnoxious parts of their personality and just imagine how perfect they must be.

All of these irrational fantasies are unhelpful. And when stuck in a long distance scenario, it’s important to distrust many of your own judgments and inclinations to a certain degree. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what’s going on and the best thing you can do at any moment is simply ask your partner.

3. MAKE COMMUNICATION OPTIONAL

A lot of long distance couples create rules or expectations that they should have X number of calls or that they need to talk every night at a certain time. You can even find some articles online recommending this sort of behavior.

It may work for some people, but I’ve always found that communication should happen organically and unconditionally. You talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to. And if that means going 1-2 days without communicating, then so be it. People get busy, after all. And periodically having a few days to yourself is actually pretty healthy, I’d say.

It’s OK, sometimes when Mr. Overalls just wants to play Candy Crush. Let him.

 

When you force communication, two things can happen. The first is that when you inevitably hit days that you don’t have much to talk about (or don’t feel like talking), you’ll half ass it and fill your communication with a bunch of filler. Great, now you’re half-assing your relationship and spending time with your partner not because you want to but because you feel obligated. Welcome to every shitty marriage ever.

This half-assed communication often creates more problems than it solves. Like, if your partner seems more interested in his tax returns than catching up with you, chances are you should just hang up and try again in a couple days. There is such a thing as overexposure.

The second problem that can happen from forcing communication is that one or both people can begin to resent feeling obligated to the other person all of the time. This resentment then sparks stupid fights which almost always devolve into some form of, “I’m sacrificing more than you are!” “No, I’m sacrificing more than you are!”

These arguments never lead to anywhere useful.

The best way to go is to make all communication optional. Both of you can opt out at any time. The trick is to not take these opt outs personally when they happen. Understand that your partner is a fully individual human being outside of their relationship with you, and that to be happy they often need to attend to other things.

Doing this requires something called “trust.” It’s a novel concept. But you should try it out sometime.

4. MAKE SURE THE DISTANCE IS TEMPORARY

A long distance relationship cannot survive without hope. And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that you two will one day be together and achieve your Happily Ever After.

Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless.

Remember, love is not enough. You both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values and mutual interests. If she’s taking a 10-year contract working for the Singaporean government, and he makes a career dogsledding around the polar ice caps, well, then there’s not much hope for that relationship, no matter how much they may love each other.

Not only must there be some shared vision of a possible future for you together, but you both must also feel as though you’re working toward that vision. If he’s in Los Angeles and you’re in New York, nothing will kill the relationship faster than applying for jobs in London and Hong Kong.

Related : How to maintain a long distance relationship ?